...because yoga is transformational and it changed my life!
I can only share my own journey with you in hope that inspires you to step on the mat and begin your own journey of healing and transformation.
Ballet had been part of my life for 21 years, it was the love of my life.
I lived and breathed dance, trained and boarded at The Royal Ballet School and graduated at Ballet Rambert. In the last year of my training at a young age of 21, I injured my achillies tendons. That was supposed to the beginning of my career but it was the end. I was devastated, I felt numb, I didn't know what to do or where to go. Life carried on and I went through the motions, always feeling this deep sense of loss, grief and pain. It was a physical pain not just a mental one. I moved to a deeper darker place, I stayed there for years.
Somehow I moved out of the darkness, but the grief was still immense. Everyday was a struggle, I felt I had no sense of purpose, no deep sense of love. I certainly did not love myself. Miraculously I met my future husband and fell pregnant. I enjoyed comfort eating through my pregnancy, but then I could hardly move. I had always listened to my body, and my body was telling me it was time to move it!
One day, and heavily pregnant I walked into a yoga class. Even though my body was big and heavy, I felt light, my joints found space and I left this incredible feeling of freedom. I never forget that feeling.
After having my beautiful little boy, life took over again, the demands of being a mum. I didn't go to yoga again for years. The grief and trauma of my dancing loss still remained, I would cry at everything and anything and still felt that I would never find "my love, my passion" again. Then one morning I woke up with a deep urge to train as a yoga teacher. I had never thought about it before, but there was no question that this is what I should do. I knew that if I became a yoga teacher I would have to fully commit to all that came with it. There could be no half-hearted approach. I had to fully immerse myself in what was about to happen. I did! It took 200 hours of intense training and learning. One of the hardest things I have ever done. One of the greatest things I have ever done. Throughout the journey of learning though I still tried battling with myself, my inner voice, "why bother, you will never love it like you did ballet?", "you will never be as good at it?", "you will only injure yourself". In fact on the last part of the course I did injure myself, I fractured my coccyx but I didn't listen to that voice I kept going. I graduated as a yoga teacher in 2014 and that's when my real yoga journey began.
At the time I had no idea that I had held this trauma, stress, grief, in my body for 14 years.
In the last 8 years yoga has moved this trauma and deep grief out of my body.
It took along time but finally I have arrived in a place that I know myself, I know what my body needs.
I have re educated myself around nutrition and yoga has helped me understand my body at a deeper level. I now know that my body will always tell me what it needs if I listen, if I really listen.
I now hear my true authentic voice.
Yoga has given me a toolbox for life! I delve into it often.
I would love to share this with you, give you the tools for self love and healing.
All my love